i've got your metaphor right here

So, today at the undisclosed large corporation that i work for, i found out that i made a series of mistakes/mis-steps/"why were you playing video games when you were driving down the freeway at night?" type actions and essentially cost my employer a considerable sum of moola. There i sat, knowing that there was no one to blame but the calm sexy man staring back at me in my monitor. But since i realisticaly couldn't convince my manager that denzel washington was at fault, i decided i should probably take the blame.

Anyway, needless to say i was pretty down about the whole mess; it's the first time i've made a mistake big enough to cause and significant problems, and needless to say i was worried about how my manager would react. Which brings me to the point of this entry (actually the first point i've made since i've started doing the blog buisness).

I'm so stinkin worried that everyone will think less of me, get angry, fire me, whatever that i'm striving at work out of fear. ("I have 8 managers Bob" "8?" "8 Bob. So that means every time i make a mistake, i have 8 people coming by to talk about it. My only motivation is not to get hassled") So, 1st lesson: it actually makes sense to strive for the Lord and not the praises of man. Not that i've even come close to this, i just realize my error at this point.

So on with the story. Another thought enters this dense head of mine somehow. I can take responsibility for my actions and such, but i have no guarentee that i will be forgiven, as is the case with God or most believers. By this time, i'm walking around staring at the floor wondering what will become of me, mostly just frustrated with myself for being so careless. Anyway, long story short, my manager talks to me, laughs a bit, tells me good job on my other work and walks away (even though my mistake reflects poorly on him to his superior). Without him actually saying anything, i'm smiling again. Even though i've got some damage control to take care of, i'm not rejected, put out, fired, tarred and feathered (against coorporate policy, i checked). Some of you may see where this is headed.

God does this every stinkin day. every day. i'm constantly blowing it, shooting myself in the foot, acting careless, wasting time, wasting my gifts, wasting the things that are valuable to him that he has entrusted to me. And yet he picks me up, says good job, and i know that he will help me clean up any messes that i've made.

You may be asking yourself, "but why male models?" if you are, i have one thing to say to you. actually i don't. and i'm not saying that "actually i don't" is what i have to say, i'm just saying i won't warrant your question with a response. Anyway, if the forgiveness of a guy at work can turn my day around so significantly, why can't i realize how much more forgiveness i've been given through Christ, and how much greater the sacrifice the forgiver had to endure to make forgiveness possible. At work, no forgivness means i pay mr. bossman back with money. in life, i pay mr. bossman (for those of us that aren't on my metaphor train, this is God) back with my life. money, life. money, life. (picture me doing the whole "look at me pretend to be a scale" act as i go back and forth, in an obvious attempt to demonstrate the ease which this decision should ideally be made. the answer is life by the way.)

ok, thats it. For those of you that made it this far, i commend you. for the rest of you, i'm calling you names like snakelhat and boofmonger, but you'll never know, b/c you didn't read this. And if you come back at a later time and read it, then the names no longer apply b/c you now fall into the first previously commended group. i am so smart. i am so smart. S M R T.