Vengance is mine!
The title is to prove that i can quote the Bible. Technically it may be slightly out of context, but i think mormans do it, so that makes it ok.
Anyway, allow me to share an account of the resolution. As you can see by the prevoius post, the mole (hearafter referred to as "that piece of crap rodent"... and perhaps other slight variations) was "taking it to the hole" on me. (like shaq takes it to the hole, or luke skywalker in the "a new hope", not like some guy thats trying to unclog the toilet with a plunger)
Moving on, it was good friday, and i just finished a depressing day at work (mostly b/c i recently discovered a couple new problems with the design i'm working on), and i came home fully expecting to see a big pile of dirt covering my trap and no piece of crap rodent chopped in half. But this was not the case. See below.
Yeah thats right. Unfortunatly he remained in one piece during his struggle. if i get another mole i may sharpen the tangs to make that outcome more likely. i won't post pictures of that...
Also, if you'll notice, this mother's about 7 inches long. its like a small dog digging under my yard. when i tell the story to people, almost immediatly someone not directly involved in the coversation leans over to the person next to them and says, "that sounds pretty big." half the time it's b/c they think i'm exaggerating (which is why the tape measure is in the picture). the other half of the time its b/c they weren't paying attention, they just noticed me glance at them and quickly pretended to be either impressed, actively listening, or demonstrating to me that they were listening far more intently than the person recieving the "that sounds big" comment.
So when i came around the corner and saw this thing, i actually jumped. twice. the first time b/c i was suprised. the second was joyful (like the old toyota ads..."i love what you do for me, dead rodents on my lawn!") If you were around you may have even heard a small yelp of joy. the neighbors dog did. he started barking with me.
So i gave the dirt gobbler a proper burial. originally i had planned on mounting him on a stake and displaying him above ground for his moron cousins to see, to at least trigger some sort of fear mechanism in the pea's these things call brains and keep them away. that seemed like to much work and i'm pretty sure the neighborhood's stray cat would've taken him down before any fear was struck into any relatives of TPOCM. my neighbors would probably have complained as well. but on the bright side, i do remember saying to a friend, "this mother's in the ground by my will, not his." it looks stupid in writing, but let me tell you, it carries a whallop when spoken with an inner city ring, followed closely by a "yeeaaah boyee". word.
And i just found out that moles aren't rodents. i was using the microsoft word thesaurus to try and figure out another word for it, and found out that its actaully a burrowing mammal. or spicy chocolate. what would the world do without bill gates?
Thats about it. i leave for croatia in 36 hours and haven't really started packing. here's a picture that comes up when you do a google image search for rijeka. I think i'm going to get shot. these people look crazy.
Anyway, allow me to share an account of the resolution. As you can see by the prevoius post, the mole (hearafter referred to as "that piece of crap rodent"... and perhaps other slight variations) was "taking it to the hole" on me. (like shaq takes it to the hole, or luke skywalker in the "a new hope", not like some guy thats trying to unclog the toilet with a plunger)
Moving on, it was good friday, and i just finished a depressing day at work (mostly b/c i recently discovered a couple new problems with the design i'm working on), and i came home fully expecting to see a big pile of dirt covering my trap and no piece of crap rodent chopped in half. But this was not the case. See below.
Yeah thats right. Unfortunatly he remained in one piece during his struggle. if i get another mole i may sharpen the tangs to make that outcome more likely. i won't post pictures of that...
Also, if you'll notice, this mother's about 7 inches long. its like a small dog digging under my yard. when i tell the story to people, almost immediatly someone not directly involved in the coversation leans over to the person next to them and says, "that sounds pretty big." half the time it's b/c they think i'm exaggerating (which is why the tape measure is in the picture). the other half of the time its b/c they weren't paying attention, they just noticed me glance at them and quickly pretended to be either impressed, actively listening, or demonstrating to me that they were listening far more intently than the person recieving the "that sounds big" comment.
So when i came around the corner and saw this thing, i actually jumped. twice. the first time b/c i was suprised. the second was joyful (like the old toyota ads..."i love what you do for me, dead rodents on my lawn!") If you were around you may have even heard a small yelp of joy. the neighbors dog did. he started barking with me.
So i gave the dirt gobbler a proper burial. originally i had planned on mounting him on a stake and displaying him above ground for his moron cousins to see, to at least trigger some sort of fear mechanism in the pea's these things call brains and keep them away. that seemed like to much work and i'm pretty sure the neighborhood's stray cat would've taken him down before any fear was struck into any relatives of TPOCM. my neighbors would probably have complained as well. but on the bright side, i do remember saying to a friend, "this mother's in the ground by my will, not his." it looks stupid in writing, but let me tell you, it carries a whallop when spoken with an inner city ring, followed closely by a "yeeaaah boyee". word.
And i just found out that moles aren't rodents. i was using the microsoft word thesaurus to try and figure out another word for it, and found out that its actaully a burrowing mammal. or spicy chocolate. what would the world do without bill gates?
Thats about it. i leave for croatia in 36 hours and haven't really started packing. here's a picture that comes up when you do a google image search for rijeka. I think i'm going to get shot. these people look crazy.
posted by Brian at 6:01 PM
10 Comments:
Sweet.
Congratulations, fine brother, you have succeeded not only in proving your manhood, but also your status as a homeowner.
By proud, be very proud. I shall inform the nations of this feat.
I love the MS Word thesaurus! Sara says she thinks I have a good vocabulary, but, like so many things in life, it’s all because of Microsoft. Matt Tamura said he was thinking of coming out to Croatia with you, I tried to convince him to come but it probably won’t happen. Our team relies heavily on the Serys for meeting new friends and expanding our 9-person social circle. Next year we might be screwed.
I think the google image search is a cop-out. That is really a picture of yourself in some sick mole massacring ritual (in which you presumably chant victoriously, “u-g-l-y, you ain’t got no…” etc. over the mangled carcass) superimposed on a Rijekan background.
homeowners rule. i am a homeowner.
i rule.
if by Matt Tamura you mean Matt the gambler, then i know who you're talking about. yeah i didn't think he was serious at first, then i saw an introspective gleam in his eye and had a "holy crap he's serious" moment. he sent stuff w/ me so we'll pretend he's there in spirit, then we'll eat his share of supper.
and try the image search for yourself. you'll find that if you run a search for "sick mole massacering ritual" you get NO results. in fact, google had the link that said "did you mean, 'Sick male ritual'?"
i stopped trying.
wow... "that sounds pretty big"
congratulations on your first kill?!
I don't really know the appropriate jargon for this sort of thing... I'll work on it!
Have fun in Croatia T-Bone!
Did you see that thing that was in you? It was like this! You took it like a man!
I took another look at the picture of the dead mole, and now that I think about it, any mole worth their salt would've chewed out of any trap just to save their own skin.
Your mole obviously did not possess this desire to live. Which makes me wonder what took you so long to catch him.
Interesting.
What? Still no update? I was hoping to see your impressions of the crazy people you met in Rijeka. I guess I'll give you a break, but you have spent hours sitting an apartment with internet doing nothing but sudoku when you could have posted something. :)
holy cow, such expectations! i've been in the country for all of 12 hours and i'm getting hounded.
apparently i don't posses the ability to compose lengthy commentaries in a timely manner, in relative comparison to some of your other male "friends" taylor.
stammer... stammer... cough... *turns red*
ok, sorry.
:)
You never give up.
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