i've got your metaphor right here

So, today at the undisclosed large corporation that i work for, i found out that i made a series of mistakes/mis-steps/"why were you playing video games when you were driving down the freeway at night?" type actions and essentially cost my employer a considerable sum of moola. There i sat, knowing that there was no one to blame but the calm sexy man staring back at me in my monitor. But since i realisticaly couldn't convince my manager that denzel washington was at fault, i decided i should probably take the blame.

Anyway, needless to say i was pretty down about the whole mess; it's the first time i've made a mistake big enough to cause and significant problems, and needless to say i was worried about how my manager would react. Which brings me to the point of this entry (actually the first point i've made since i've started doing the blog buisness).

I'm so stinkin worried that everyone will think less of me, get angry, fire me, whatever that i'm striving at work out of fear. ("I have 8 managers Bob" "8?" "8 Bob. So that means every time i make a mistake, i have 8 people coming by to talk about it. My only motivation is not to get hassled") So, 1st lesson: it actually makes sense to strive for the Lord and not the praises of man. Not that i've even come close to this, i just realize my error at this point.

So on with the story. Another thought enters this dense head of mine somehow. I can take responsibility for my actions and such, but i have no guarentee that i will be forgiven, as is the case with God or most believers. By this time, i'm walking around staring at the floor wondering what will become of me, mostly just frustrated with myself for being so careless. Anyway, long story short, my manager talks to me, laughs a bit, tells me good job on my other work and walks away (even though my mistake reflects poorly on him to his superior). Without him actually saying anything, i'm smiling again. Even though i've got some damage control to take care of, i'm not rejected, put out, fired, tarred and feathered (against coorporate policy, i checked). Some of you may see where this is headed.

God does this every stinkin day. every day. i'm constantly blowing it, shooting myself in the foot, acting careless, wasting time, wasting my gifts, wasting the things that are valuable to him that he has entrusted to me. And yet he picks me up, says good job, and i know that he will help me clean up any messes that i've made.

You may be asking yourself, "but why male models?" if you are, i have one thing to say to you. actually i don't. and i'm not saying that "actually i don't" is what i have to say, i'm just saying i won't warrant your question with a response. Anyway, if the forgiveness of a guy at work can turn my day around so significantly, why can't i realize how much more forgiveness i've been given through Christ, and how much greater the sacrifice the forgiver had to endure to make forgiveness possible. At work, no forgivness means i pay mr. bossman back with money. in life, i pay mr. bossman (for those of us that aren't on my metaphor train, this is God) back with my life. money, life. money, life. (picture me doing the whole "look at me pretend to be a scale" act as i go back and forth, in an obvious attempt to demonstrate the ease which this decision should ideally be made. the answer is life by the way.)

ok, thats it. For those of you that made it this far, i commend you. for the rest of you, i'm calling you names like snakelhat and boofmonger, but you'll never know, b/c you didn't read this. And if you come back at a later time and read it, then the names no longer apply b/c you now fall into the first previously commended group. i am so smart. i am so smart. S M R T.

The weeping soul

Maybe you're thinking right now, "The weeping soul? i really wasn't aware that Brian had this emotional side. Its apparent now that this aspect of his personality has been yearning to be released, aching to taste the wild freedom that can only be expressed in the poignant words that are no doubt to follow. This man is surely capable of meaningful conversation and could easily interpret and understand any given woman at any given moment."

If you are, you most likely fall into one of these categories:
1) Female (sub-categorized)
a) Single and desperatly seeking male companionship.
b) Dating and wondering why current male can't act like this.
c) Newlywed and under the impression that current male meets this description.
d) clinically insane

2) Male - does not exist.

I figured if i had some sort of meaningful hippieistic title there'd be a better chance that people would read my blog. Did it work? who knows. chances are that if there was a female that fit into any above category and was offended, they didn't read this far. You win some you lose some.

I'm also starting to realize just how pointless all my entries have and continue to be. I should probably start writing about something important, relevant even. i'll let you know when i'm going to start.

Disclaimer

It has come to my attention that the phrase "blow up the sauce" has been used to link to my ever so plain blog. For those of us that tend to be on the less than observant side, you'll take note that i suggesting blowing up your CAR, WITH the sauce. Whatever that means, i have yet to discover. It was however the third random phrase that popped into my head when signing up for this deal (the first two were actually taken...either that or outlawed due to questionable content. unfortunatly i have no recollection of them and can't check for myself)

Since "sauce" has been used to refer to the wife of a certain missionary friend (i guess she's a missionary too), i am required to make the following statement: I in no way intend to blow up the mrs. of mr. and mrs. tim sery. While it may be exciting or provide the world with an interesting internet video, the very thought of doing so is, well, messy. So, long story short, no need to worry. Unless i find an explosive substance referred to as "the sauce". If and when that happens, i suggest locking your car.

Oh man, this is great

Alright, so i'm blogging now. since all my posts have been few and far between, let me summarize.

Today it rained.

go ahead and apply that to about the last 40 days, and you'll have the latest news. And i went skiing once.